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The other day on Facebook I saw someone had posted this as their status: “If your definition of ‘spiritual’ means ‘must always be positive,’ I’m not interested in that game.”
Ooooh did that get my attention.
I’ve had those thoughts. I shouldn’t post about this because __________. [Insert reason here: I’m supposed to be positive, I’m a spiritual person, People will think I’m somehow a mess and won’t want to take advice from me, etc.]
In the comments, the person who posted that said they’d rather be seen as a “full spectrum human” than someone who has one default, always cheerful persona.
Full spectrum human: I LOVE that.
The truth is, opening up when things are less than rosy for you (yes, even in social media) can actually be a beautiful teaching moment for your followers, clients and friends, for three main reasons.
Opening up when things are less than rosy for you can actually be a beautiful teaching moment. Click To Tweet
I’m sharing those reasons, as well as revealing a moment where I publicly “lost it” several years ago (with surprising results), in my video for you this week.
Please watch and share your thoughts in the comments with me. It would mean the world to hear from you on this, and find out how you’ve used (or avoided) things like social media to get “real” with folks. 🙂
Oh, I completely agree. Last year I had a “bad day” where I came out from an appointment and found my car had been booted. Turns out there were 2 signs describing the parking rules in that spot and I had only read 1 since I was in a hurry. I posted a picture of my tire booted on Facebook.
When I finally made the required phone calls, paid the ridiculous fines and was on my way, I looked at the dashboard and saw that it said I had **0 **miles left before I ran out of gas! Luckily it was wrong :). I posted a picture of that, too.
My husband saw the pics and told me that I shouldn’t have posted them because it made me look scattered and not all together. For once I didn’t worry about what other people thought and did not delete the pics. I figured it would make everyone else feel better about themselves. This should be a new trend!
Hi Linda, so happy you shared this. Perfect example and love how you handled it, especially responding to hubby. 😉 Interesting how the comment below yours had a similar mention of the hubby being worried about how it “looks.” Good for you for putting it out there knowing someone else might not feel so bad about their own bad day!
The better you get to know someone, the more you see how there is something always going on behind the scenes. Always! Yet they still can be an intelligent, loving, competent person. I try to remember that.
I refer to it as “toxic optimism” the kind that forces you to leave your truth behind. I’m not into that either. I love that term “full spectrum human” – I’ve always referred to myself as a “realist”. Most people interpret that as being a pessimist, but I’m not, I’m just honest about the way I feel and I typically find a whole lotta things to be happy about, even amidst the darkness that sometimes permeates out world.
Hi Susan, good points. More people would do well to take a cue from the idea of finding happiness no matter what is going on. Thanks for your comment, it was certainly appreciated after the nonsense spewed from the other commenter before you. 😉
I can totally relate to this ecspecially this week as I “lost it” at a chamber meeting between the store owners & the town council . I know I am supposed to be professional , positive & spiritual as my daily practice but when I see store owners that are trying to save their businesses being bullied instead of being supported, I just lost it, I stood up for what was right, they may have not known me before Tuesday evening, but they know who I am now. And my thought behind it all is F*** it, I am not going to let a bunch of “town clicks” & “mean girls” ruin what I have worked so hard for, someone had to say something. My husband is worried because he doesn’t want me involved -but I said to him “Someone has to do it” , so I have had plenty of these moments over the last couple of weeks of not “showing up happy” & ” what will people think” , but I see now that is how change happens, it is all in your fight to push through when something is WRONG. Thanks for your post Christine, I am totally with you??
Hi Danielle! Yourself and Linda above both had examples of concerned hubbies, and I love how you both handled that. I applaud you for standing up for what you feel is right, regardless of what others may think. This is very empowering and you should feel proud. F it indeed, girl, we are changemakers!! <3
Christine – This is so perfect! Yes, we want the people we work with to know their stuff and be the ‘expert’ – but we also want them to be human and to show that they’re human, in appropriate ways of course.
When I write, I try to write from the heart – which means that my blog posts, etc. capture different moods, ideas and feelings. I don’t know how to do it without sharing some personal stuff too – and that is often when I get the most, best and most heartfelt responses.
Once, I was at a workshop with about 50/60 other people, and I felt a lot of resistance during the first morning. I knew that I could sit there for the remainder of the workshop living in that resistance – which would have felt like a big waste of time and money – or I could share some of my resistance and my reasons for it with the group. I debated this throughout the lunch break, and when the facilitator asked for our thoughts after lunch, I raised my hand, went to the microphone and shared from my heart the resistance I was feeling and why – and the outpouring of love and support was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and helped me connect more quickly and more deeply with a room of strangers than I ever could have imagined possible.
Hi Elizabeth, I so love this very apropos example! Thrilled that the outpouring of love made it helped make it feel worth sharing your heart. You have always been a shining example of coming from the “heart and soul.” Kudos my friend! So glad this post resonated with you. 🙂 And, when you wrote: “I don’t know how to do it without sharing some personal stuff too – and that is often when I get the most, best and most heartfelt responses” – I relate to this more than you know… and it’s so wonderful to see that doing things this way brought out some beautiful engagement and conversation with others. Yes!
LOVE full-spectrum human!!! Yes!! I think you are absolutely right. Letting other know you are human just like them definitely allows them to relate better. Although there are many more things I could open up about, I have definitely found that when I do open up about things, other entrepreneurs are absolutely supportive. We have ALL been through a lot on our individual journeys. However, those very hardships and ugliness seem to always be the big fat elephant in the room. Because many entrepreneurs are not even close to as confident as they appear, I think showing a vulnerability scares us to death, so many don’t. I think it is particularly important for influencers to allow that vulnerability because it is important for them to find ways to relate to their usually less experienced following. Great post, Christine. This is a great subject!
Hi Lisa, you wrote: “Because many entrepreneurs are not even close to as confident as they appear, I think showing a vulnerability scares us to death, so many don’t.” Bingo! And yes, it definitely goes a long way towards becoming more relatable, which is GOLD. So glad you resonated with the post!
Ok, I’ll admit it. I don’t like “perfect” people. I’ve a strong, deep seated conviction that no one is perfect and distrust those who portray themselves as being such.
Oddly enough, I’ve been in a work environment for over 30 years that requires a daily extremely regimented paperwork control of compliance, reconciling, & filing each and every day. At home, I have a recycle, shred, take action, & file sorting system. I immediately do the recycling and shredding when the mail comes in; however the take action and filing usually occurs about twice a month–mid month and toward the end of the month. Works well and having a staging area give me time for the rest of my life and my hubby is appreciative. I used to beat myself up because I wasn’t as goal oriented with paper work at home as I was on the job. Now I enjoy just dealing with the bills at home just twice a month or so. I’ve finally started a blog, it’s progressing slowly, but processing just the same. Living is a process, we’re constantly learning from our experiences, and have unique takes to share with others.
Christine, perhaps you should (honestly) have taken your own advice and NOT ventured into politics, with your most recent comments. I am certainly NOT “pissed off” nor “perplexed” with the 2016 election results. I am beyond relieved that HRC did not win the Presidency. SHE would likely have continued the horrible policies of BO, and taken our country further down the globalist path of destruction. Call me “deplorable” if you wish, but I am a rational adult that recognized HRC for what she is: The greedy, unscrupulous, female half of The Corrupt Clinton Couple.
Hello “Sentient Trump Supporter:” you can promptly take yourself OFF my email list. I have every right to venture into any area I please in my newsletter. Thanks.
Thanks Christine, Yes i agree to your opinion that we can’t be positive all the time because its real and our real sad moments can actually be a beautiful learning moments for clients and friends.
This topic has been a huge one in my life for a very long time, and I think it can probably be explored, discussed, or debated endlessly — and maybe that’s what life is about. Buddhism urges taking the middle path that would be the remedy to either possibly seeming extreme, (Rabbinic) Judaism is about argumentation and as such explores many many sides to any topic. Having grown up Jewish and then lived in an ashram, I can see merit and benefit to each side — I think they might possibly represent the best of East and West. The light of the East might be characterized as perfect happiness, the light of the West as so much thinking it can lead to constant sadness — and yes, this is very much a huge stereotyping. When I see this question, I want to find an answer that includes both sides, because I think there is great value to portraying and representing oneself as both perfect and constantly happy. The spiritual painter Alex Grey says he paints pictures that are portraits of perfection because it’s healthy to look at those perfect bodies. It’s a way to relate to that perfection in oneself, and seeing them and relating to that increases physical health. Of course, it can all be very personal. Did looking at the grotesque images painted by Hieronymus Bosch decrease my physical health? Why was I attracted to that? How many people would be offended by those images and disgusted by my interest in them? If people find that abhorrent, is there something wrong with me? Is their dislike a statement about the value or lack thereof in my interests? If their dislike is not a statement about me or at least not an accurate one, then is someone else’s dislike of the pursuit of constant happiness or perfection, or the portrayal of oneself as being and embodying such or both a statement about those people — or a statement, once again, about oneself?
I DO love the idea of being a full-spectrum human! I also think that the spectrum is different for everyone, and for some people the side on their spectrum’s end of sadness is far beyond what others can tolerate. Some people cling to depression and find it somehow comforting — and that can be the danger of not accepting perfect happiness. Not everyone is — at least yet — capable of embodying the full spectrum, and many many many of those people have to choose only one side or the other. That’s the only thing keeping them together. Without that perfect happiness, they’d fall apart.
Now, with trepidation, I will submit my comment! 🙂